WHAT'S ON YOUR CHILD'S MIND? Ask these 5 Questions!

Sometimes when I sit with parents, they tell me the same thing:

“I ask my child how their day was… and they just say, ‘Fine.’”

And that’s it.

The conversation ends before it even begins.

The truth is, most children have a rich inner world. They think deeply. They feel deeply. But they don’t always have the words — or the right questions — to share it.

If you want to understand what’s really on your child’s mind, try asking these five gentle questions. Ask them during bedtime, in the car, or while drawing together. Keep your tone soft. No pressure. Just curiosity.

Here are five questions that open the door.

1. What Makes You Feel the Most Loved?

Children experience love in different ways.

Some feel loved when you play with them.
Some feel loved when you listen.
Some feel loved when you hug them.

When you ask this question, you are learning their “language of love.”

You might discover something simple but powerful — like, “I feel loved when you sit next to me at night.”

This question helps your child understand what love feels like to them. And it helps you show love in a way that truly reaches their heart.

2. Who Did You Enjoy Spending Time With Today?

Friendships shape your child more than we sometimes realize.

When you ask this, you are gently exploring their social world. You learn who makes them feel happy, safe, or confident.

You may hear:
“I liked playing with Mia because she shared.”
Or,
“I didn’t like playing with him. He was loud.”

This builds awareness. Your child begins to notice how other people affect their emotions. And you gain insight into who influences their daily mood.

3. What Made You Really Happy Today?

Children often move quickly from one moment to the next. They don’t always pause to notice joy.

When you ask this question, you teach reflection.

Maybe it was something small:
“My teacher smiled at me.”
“I finished my drawing.”
“We had noodles for lunch.”

These moments matter.

By talking about happiness, you help your child practise gratitude. You train their brain to notice the good, even on ordinary days.

4. What Do You Wish Grown-Ups Understood About You?

This question is powerful.

Children sometimes feel misunderstood, especially when adults are busy correcting behavior.

You might hear:
“I don’t like when people think I’m not trying.”
“I get angry because it feels too loud.”
“I need more time.”

When you ask this, you are telling your child:
Your voice matters here.

It creates safety for honest conversation. And sometimes, it reveals needs we did not see before.

5. What Do You Think About When You Are Quiet?

Children may look quiet on the outside, but their minds are often busy.

They might be imagining stories.
Worrying about school.
Thinking about something that hurt their feelings.

This question invites them to share their inner world — the thoughts that usually stay unspoken.

When a child feels safe enough to share their quiet thoughts, that is deep trust.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t need to ask all five questions every day.

Even one meaningful question is enough.

What matters most is how you listen. Put your phone down. Make eye contact. Don’t rush to fix or correct.

Children open up when they feel heard, not judged.

And over time, these small conversations become something bigger.

They become the foundation of trust.

One day, when your child is older and facing something difficult, the habit of talking to you will already be there.

Because you didn’t just ask, “How was your day?”

You asked what was on their heart.