Why Men Struggle in Silence
There are conversations that stay with you long after the cameras stop rolling. My recent one with Nick Jonsson was one of those.
As a psychologist, I’ve sat with many men who feel like they have to hold the world together while quietly falling apart inside. Hearing Nick speak so openly reminded me how heavy silence can feel, especially for those who believe they must endure it on their own.
What struck me most was how effortlessly this struggle hides behind casual smiles, quick jokes, or the familiar words, “I’m fine.” Listening to Nick, I began to notice patterns that are subtle yet profoundly human. Seeing them without judgment felt like a kind of understanding in itself.
Cultural Expectations of Strength
From a young age, many boys are taught to be strong, independent, and emotionally contained. Crying is discouraged, vulnerability is questioned, and asking for help is treated as a weakness. By the time they reach adulthood, these ideas have settled deeply. Many men hesitate to open up because they worry it will make them look less capable. Nick shared that even admitting something small can feel overwhelming, almost like failing at the role they were taught to play. In this kind of environment, silence becomes a way to cope when the world does not always welcome their softer side.
Fear of Judgment or Rejection
Speaking honestly can feel risky, even with people you trust. Men often worry about losing respect, being seen differently, or being misunderstood. This is especially true for those working in high-pressure careers or public-facing roles. The fear of being judged creates distance, and over time it makes them feel alone even when they are surrounded by others.
Lack of Safe Emotional Spaces
People often tell men to talk more, but they rarely offer places where honesty is actually supported. Nick shared that it is hard to find moments where he can speak without worrying about how he will be perceived. When safe emotional spaces are missing, silence becomes a protective layer. It helps them move through a world that can feel harsh toward emotional openness.
Internal Self-Doubt
Even men who seem accomplished on the outside struggle with self-doubt. Nick described quiet moments when he questioned his choices, his abilities, and his value. These thoughts can repeat themselves until they feel like a loop. When self-doubt grows, it becomes harder for them to trust others with their inner struggles.
Not Knowing How to Express Feelings
Many men were never taught how to recognise or express their emotions clearly. Feelings like anger, sadness, or anxiety may show up, but without the language or confidence to communicate them, these emotions stay bottled up. Over time this can turn into stress, tension, or emotional numbness.
Pressure to Appear in Control
Men often feel responsible for keeping everything together. They want to be the problem solver and the steady presence in the room. Showing signs of struggle can feel risky, as if one small crack will make everything fall apart. To avoid worrying others, they hold the weight quietly and push through on their own.
Difficulty Trusting Others
Trust plays a major role in whether someone feels safe opening up. When past experiences have taught a man that vulnerability leads to criticism or disappointment, staying silent feels safer. Nick mentioned how negative reactions from peers, partners, or family members can shape the belief that keeping things inside is the only reliable option.
Hearing Nick’s perspective reminded me how complex being human is. Many men stay silent even when they are struggling because they have rarely experienced spaces where asking for support feels safe and welcomed.
It brought me back to something I often share with my clients. Real change begins when someone feels fully seen and met with understanding. Simply listening and creating room for honesty can soften the weight someone carries. Sometimes this quiet presence is what finally allows a person to step out of their silence.
You can catch the full conversation with Nick Jonsson on YouTube and Spotify. Hearing him share his story in his own words brings even more depth to these insights and offers a meaningful reminder of how powerful it can be when someone chooses to speak openly.
