The day I unintentionally ran a half-marathon - and why it all starts with your mindset

Sep 26

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs happen on days we least expect them. What started as a simple school drop-off turned into a reminder of the power of your mindset.

Our car broke down over the weekend, and we discovered that the engine was beyond repair. We were car-less for the foreseeable future (yes, definitely a first-world problem). With two young children (Alaia and Olivia), this meant an adjustment of our morning routine to ensure both made it to school on time. Thankfully, our neighbour stepped in, taking care of Alaia’s morning school runs. This left me with getting Olivia to preschool.

The night before, Ollie and I meticulously planned our journey: we would cycle to the MRT station and then hop on the train. The plan was set.

The Spark of an Idea: Cultivating Vision and Intent

The very next morning, I awoke with a sudden idea—a Schnapsidee, as one might say in German, meaning a spontaneous idea. After dropping Ollie off at school, I would run home. For those familiar with Singapore, this meant a journey from City Hall to Marine Terrace, a considerable 13 kilometres. As I got ready for the day, I could vividly picture the entire route: around Marina Bay, through Gardens by the Bay, via Marina Barrage, and then along East Coast Park all the way home.

This act of mental rehearsal, or visualisation, is a powerful tool, one I deeply believe in and teach in my client coaching. It’s more than just imagining; it’s about actively constructing a mental blueprint of your plan, your success, thereby paving the way for physical action and strengthening one's resolve before even taking the first step. I had a plan, a solid plan, and I was filled with excitement.

Ollie and I set out, enjoying wonderful mother-daughter quality time on our way to school. Once she was safely dropped off, it was time for my personal endeavour to begin.

From Reluctance to Personal Discovery

I was never really a sporty person. Running only entered my life in June 2021, amidst the Covid pandemic. My inaugural run was a modest 1.89 kilometres around Fort Canning, leaving me utterly breathless. I still remember that day. I chose running purely for its practicality; I didn’t even enjoy it initially. Yet, with Olivia just one year old at the time, I needed an accessible workout I could do anywhere, anytime. A lot has changed since that day in 2021.

Four years later (and three knee surgeries, but that’s a story for another time), here I was, voluntarily planning a 13-kilometre run. Running had evolved into a profound personal practice; it became my thing. It transcended being merely a workout; it became dedicated time outdoors, time with myself, and time with my thoughts. It transformed into my personal sanctuary for unwinding and processing emotions—both my own and the complex emotions and experiences clients share with me in therapy sessions. It offered an uninterrupted space for reflection, a rare commodity in our perpetually connected lives.

The Power of the First Step: Overcoming Initial Resistance

So, I began my run, understanding that all it truly takes to start is one single step. Instead of fixating on the daunting total distance, I mentally broke the entire journey into manageable segments. I was excited by the prospect of sightseeing along my route. I started at the National Gallery, running towards Marina Bay, completing one loop around the Bay towards Gardens by the Bay, and then heading down to Marina Barrage.

I stopped on the Marina Barrage bridge and took a moment to feel gratitude, marvelling at the view and Singapore’s beauty. This small deliberate act of mindful reflection allowed me to really appreciate the journey, focusing on the present moment rather than solely on the final destination.

Continuing towards Gardens by the Bay East, I ventured onto a path I had never explored before, following two figures in the distance. I had no idea where they were headed, nor where this unfamiliar path would lead. Upon catching up, I discovered they were two charming elderly gentlemen enjoying a walk together. They kindly guided me towards East Coast Park. Our brief exchange of pleasantries once again filled me with gratitude and inspiration. It’s these small acts of kindness and unexpected connections that enrich living. I went on into East Coast Park, again mentally mapping my next checkpoints: Coastal Playgrove, Parkland Green, Marine Cove, traversing the park connector, and finally, home. Just segment by segment, one manageable part at a time.

Mindset: The Architect of Our Reality

I kept going, nodding and smiling at fellow runners, allowing my mind to wander freely. I reflected on the considerable distance I had already covered, both in this run and in my life. At 39 years old, I realised I had never been healthier, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.

“Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you’re right”

Henry Ford’s timeless quote has resonated deeply with me since I first stumbled upon it, prompting much reflection on its implications.

This statement highlights the profound, yet often unconscious, impact our beliefs have on our actions and outcomes. Our thoughts wield immense power over our behaviour, a truth many of us remain largely unaware of.

Ultimately, your mindset shapes your reality.

If you cling to the belief that you cannot accomplish something, you will invariably find ways to prove yourself that belief true. “See, I told you I couldn’t do it,” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, a cycle where expectation reinforces outcome.

However, if you consciously shift your attitude and adopt an “I can do it” mindset, you will intrinsically try to prove yourself capable. This seemingly simple shift to a positive, proactive attitude fundamentally alters your entire goal achievement trajectory (also something I love doing with my coaching clients). It’s not merely optimism; it’s a strategic engagement with possibility and motivation, transforming your perceived limitations into opportunities for growth and success.

It is profoundly human to believe we are incapable of certain things. This often stems from our innate resistance to change, which our brains perceive as inherently difficult. Our comfort zone, after all, feels safe and predictable, because it is known. Anything beyond it represents uncharted territory, a realm of unknowns that can trigger fear and prompt us to retreat. Yet, it is precisely beyond that comfort zone where your true growth resides. To reach this space, we must confront and overcome numerous internal hurdles: our self-limiting beliefs, our fears, the grip of imposter syndrome, and the internalised narratives, “I can’t do it,” “I’m not worthy,” or “I’m not enough.” These internal dialogues, if left unchecked, can become formidable barriers to your potential.

Throughout my run, these very thoughts surfaced within me. And it is perfectly human for them to do so. “I can’t do this,” “I don’t want to anymore,” “I’m tired.” I entertained the idea of quitting, of simply hailing a taxi home, questioning the very purpose of my endeavour when I could be comfortably watching TV on the sofa (it was also my day off!).

Metacognition and Choosing Your Response

So, why was I doing this run? I consciously brought my thoughts and mindset back to my initial motivation. We often succumb easily to self-doubt because it feels safe and familiar. Giving in to these established internal self-doubting beliefs can feel more comfortable than embracing the discomfort of change, especially if these beliefs have been deeply ingrained in our past, forming part of our core identity (a topic for another chapter).

Instead of being consumed by these self-doubting thoughts, I practised metacognition, the awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes. Thinking about your own thinking.

This involves stepping back from immediate thoughts and observing them objectively. I acknowledged them: “I am having thoughts of not being strong enough to do this. I acknowledge that I have self-doubting thoughts now.” By creating this mental distance from my thoughts, I created a pause.

This pause allowed me to choose how I wanted to respond, rather than merely reacting impulsively to the immediate feeling of discomfort or doubt. I thanked these thoughts for their input, then consciously chose to reframe them, and I kept going.

And just like that, I found myself further along the path, now around Parkland Green, where I unexpectedly bumped into an old friend, Amelia. I had thought about her just a few weeks prior, looking up her social media profile and what she had been up to. I had been admiring her “Happy Girl Movement” and the community she had built.

And here I was, weeks later, on my run, bumping into her at East Coast Park. My brain, it seemed, had been primed to look out for her (something I also love to talk about in coaching!). I stopped, called out to her, and we ended up having the loveliest 15-minute mental health chat and catch-up. She shared her past struggles with anxiety and what led to her remarkable commitment to walking every day, now nearing 1000 consecutive days and creating a fundraiser. I, in turn, told her about my journey and my training for a half-marathon scheduled in a few months. We parted ways, and I looked at the road ahead.

I was at the 10-kilometre mark, with only 3 kilometres left; home felt incredibly close.

The Growth Zone: Embracing the Uncharted Path

And then, I changed my mind. I felt completely recharged after the quick chat with Amelia. What if I just kept going? What did I have to lose? So, I ventured further, stepping into the uncharted territory of my growth zone. This is the space beyond our familiar routines and perceived limits, where discomfort meets potential, and new capabilities are forged through deliberate effort and courage.

I passed the 15-kilometre mark near Fico in Bedok and thought:

“If I can do 15 kilometres, can I push myself to complete the 21.1-kilometre half-marathon distance?”

Well… I knew I would only find out by putting one foot in front of the other. So, I did.

And lo and behold, close to home, I took my last step at 21.1 kilometres, completing the half-marathon distance.

There was no fanfare, no fireworks, no applause. I simply sat down and smiled. I hadn’t set out to run 21.1 kilometres, but I realised I could.

The crucial first step was believing that I could. And so, I did. Once again, the truth of Henry Ford’s words echoed: “Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you’re right.”

The most important distance you will cover is the one between self-doubt and self-belief.

If you can change your mind, you can change your life.

And if you don’t believe it yet, I believe in you.

Marissa LN